HELP! Family Series

For the month of January in our student ministry, we did a series called "HELP! (I'm in a family)". This series was a direct response to the hurt and pain that our students/parents are feeling in their home lives. I am amazed at the success the enemy is having in destroying families and ruining lives! And we felt led by God to step up and take action.

From time to time our Student Ministry team from both campuses links up and go through the same series in both our large group and small group settings. I love doing this for a lot of reasons There is incredible unity as we all work together in putting together messages, small group materials, media elements, etc. The students are encouraged by the unity and feel the strength in numbers as we all work towards healing in the same area of our lives. I look forward to doing this more often than we do right now, because there is immense value in this.

The series kicked off with a Parent/Teen worship service at our Franklin campus. We worshipped together, asked God for wisdom and guidance together, and had radio host and youth communicator Dawson McAllister come and share some thoughts on family relationships. It was an incredible night! Here are some other highlights from the series:

During week 1 we talked specifically about parent relationships. We talked about the family being created by God as an incredible model for trust, love, and protection. We told students that unfortunately there are NO perfect parents. All parents make mistakes and inadvertently cause hurt and pain to their kids. They often do things that students don't agree with. But God's desire for students is to walk in obedience to their parents.

We played Family Feud and gave students a series of questions about relationships with parents and struggles. Groups of students competed against each other to get the most points, Family Feud style.

A group of students did a fun skit demonstrating a typical dinner conversation in a healthy family situation and then an unhealthy family situation. It was a bit dramatic, but probably not too far off base for some families.

Week 2 we discussed sibling relationships. For me, this was a bigger issue growing up than my relationships with my parents. I always seemed to go to blows with my older sister and younger brother over things big and small. I even had a home video from when we were younger that captured my sister and I bickering. Now, my siblings and I are close and have a deep love and respect for each other. We looked at the story of Joseph as a guide and discussed 4 reasons we have poor relationships with our siblings:

1. We're angry that mom/dad treat them differently;
   
2. We're annoyed by their behavior;
   
3. We're jealous that they have something we don't;
   
4. We're hurt by their actions.

We then gave 4 things that God expects in our relationships with siblings:

1. Show mercy, don't seek revenge;
   
2. Act out of love not anger;
   
3. Look to protect not attack;
   
4. Respond with patience not impulsiveness.

During week 3 we talked about broken homes. This was a powerful week in Fusion. Even as the night was getting started, you could tell there was a lot of pain in the room from students of broken homes and that God's Spirit was at work. We tackled 4 questions that are common to teens of broken homes:

1. My parents have made so many mistakes, why should I listen to them?
   
2. I'm angry at my parents for what they did, how can I ever respect them again?
   
3. It was my fault that they split up, so what do I do with all this guilt?
   
4. It seems that every relationship in my family fails; am I doomed to follow in their footsteps?

We encouraged students not to put blame on themselves for their parents' breakup. We also told them that God's heart is to take things that are broken and fix them. That doesn't mean their parents will get back together, but it does mean that God can heal the hurt and pain and bring restoration back to their family. It was incredible to see students respond and ask God to heal their families. They were willing to look at themselves in the mirror and ask God to change them first instead of pointing the finger at others.

The highlight for me was having one of our students come up to me at the end of the series and tell me that she has forgiven her dad. She has experienced incredible pain and hurt because of decisions made by her father and has struggled with that for years. But God showed her the importance and power of forgiveness!

By no means was this series the magic pill that cures all family issues. But it definitely pointed students in the right direction and provided some encouragement towards reconciliation in their families!

In the Year 2000s...

Today is the last day of 2009, which means it's also the last day of the decade. Where were you 10 years ago? What did your life look like? And what did you experience over the last 10 years that have helped shape who you are today? I decided to jot down some thoughts as I remember the last decade. Man, things have changed!

-10 years ago, I was a skinny college kid who was in love with an amazing girl. Ten years later, I'm still skinny and still in love with the same amazing girl.

Speaking of this amazing girl, Angie and I had been dating for over a year and knew that we would get married. This is the one thing that has turned out EXACTLY like I thought it would. I knew she was special and figured it would be an incredible ride with her by my side. Bingo!

-10 years ago, I had aspirations of being a rock star and making music. Now that thought makes me laugh out loud. I even thought our band name Image was cool. Ouch.

My best friend, Steve, and I had plans to move to Nashville and "make it big". We were getting ready to cut a demo for Word Records with some pretty big names in the industry and figured stardom was right around the corner. In fact, we would move to Nashville in August of 2000. I left my family, my girl, and my college to fulfill the dreams I was certain God had given me. Turns out God had some different dreams to fulfill in me. I know it's hard to believe, but I never became a rock star. I can't imagine why not.

-10 years ago, I stood in my parent's kitchen and told them I needed to move to Nashville. My dad got upset, said I only had 1 year left of school and that it was a stupid decision, and then stormed out. But I was certain that I needed to do this. One thing I loved about my parents is that they gave their opinion and tried to help us make good decisions, but they never forced their opinions on us. As adults, they gave us the freedom to make our decisions. Even if they didn't agree with it (and they didn't agree with this one), they trusted us to prayerfully make our decision after sharing their thoughts. And I would make the same decision all over again.

-10 years ago, I hated my curly hair and kept it "high and tight". People look at pictures of me back then and wonder who it is. Even Carson looks at old wedding videos and refuses to believe it's me marrying mommy. Angie eventually convinced me to fro' it out and let the curls do their thang!

-10 years ago, I chose "Youth Ministry" as my major in college. Not because I saw myself as a youth pastor. In fact, I was sure that I would never be a youth pastor. I just wanted to make an impact on the next generation and thought that major, combined with music, would help make that happen. 10 years later, I am doing what I was sure I wouldn't do. And I'm loving it.

-10 years ago, I drove around a grey/black 1988 Ford Bronco II with some pretty sweet red interior. It was a stick-shift and I almost didn't get it out of the parking lot the first time I was learning to drive it. It was the nicest car I had up to that point, which is saying a lot. The cars I've owned haven't improved much since then. I'm still waiting on the mailman to deliver the black 'Vette. It should be here any day now.

-10 years ago, I had an older sister living in Florida and three younger siblings in high school or middle school. We were all young, immature, and pretty naive about life. Since then, we've shared some incredible memories together, hurt together, laughed a lot (mainly at our dad's expense), and celebrated each other's accomplishments. I couldn't be more proud of the man and women they've become!

-10 years ago, I couldn't imagine having kids, changing diapers, putting toddlers to bed, or being a dad to three of the most beautiful people in existence! Now, I can't imagine life without them! Life must have been so incredibly boring before they came along. In the last 10 years, I have witnessed three miracles being born and been given the responsibility of raising them and introducing them to our incredible God! I definitely would've run from that responsibility a decade ago.

As I look back over the last decade, almost nothing turned out the way I thought it would. And that's what I love the most! I think part of the beauty of pursuing God and being used by Him is that it rarely looks like you think it will! He breathes life into you, fills you with dreams and purposes, and then leads you on an adventure that you can never experience without Him. And while I knew that God would use my life to bring Him glory, there were twists, turns, bumps, and obstacles that I never envisioned. Had I seen those ahead of time, I probably would've refused to go along.

All of those uncertain moments, those times where I thought, "Ok, God, I didn't think this would happen!", the bumps and obstacles have helped shape who I am. They have tested and increased my faith. They have showed me that I really don't know what's best for my life. And they were all part of God's plan.

What did the last 10 years look like for you? Did it look like you thought it would? Probably not, but I bet you saw the fingerprints of God all over it. I know I did!

'Tis the Season

I thought I would post a blog entry I did last year that is challenging to all of us as the Christmas season is upon us. Enjoy...

So I just spent some time over the last week looking at YouTube clips of insane people acting like morons on Black Friday. Some of these clips are very funny, with people running like bulls through the streets of Spain in an effort to save $20 on a DVD player. But there are some that make you sick. It turns out that a Wal-Mart worker last year was trampled to death by shoppers when he opened the door. I happened to see a video clip of police trying to revive him. Meanwhile, the same shoppers who trampled the guy were seen running through the store in the background, completely oblivious to what they did.

Does that not make your stomach hurt? I mean, what the heck is going on? How is it that the night before these people are spending time around the table at Thanksgiving, giving "thanks" for what they have, and the next morning they are running over people trying to get what they don't have??! How is it that at a time when we're supposed to be celebrating the greatest act of selflessness ever (Immanuel coming as the sacrifice for our sins), we are so self-consumed and have no regard for other people?

I read a few passages this week regarding this subject. One of those is Matthew 25, in which Jesus says that many people will be turned away from heaven because they didn't care for Jesus when he was hungry, thisty, naked, and hurting. And people will say they never saw Jesus this way. Jesus then says that anyone who doesn't care for those that need it, it is as if they are turning down Jesus Himself. A couple of chapters before that, in Matthew 20, the disciples are arguing over who is the greatest disciple. And Jesus tells them that whoever wants to be truly great will serve others. A true follower of Christ will be consumed with meeting the needs of those all around them before considering their own needs.

And yet, if I'm honest, I'm going from store to store looking to save 10% on a larger TV that I don't even need! Or I'm trying to use whatever Christmas money I have on another iPod, or pair of jeans, or sweatshirt, when the reality is I already have plenty of those things. Meanwhile, the guy at the end of my street has been out of work for 8 months and is trying to put food on the table for his family or trying to find the money for a coat so his kid doesn't freeze to death!

So the question I've been internalizing is this: Am I really living my life the way Jesus wants in regards to taking care of the poor and feeding those who are hungry or in need? Or am I so consumed with myself and what I want that I'm missing the blantant needs of others all around me?

"Those that want to be first will be last, and those who put themselves last will be first."

What I'm Thankful For (From our 3-Year-Old)

Today is Thanksgiving and I woke up thinking of all the incredible ways God has blessed us. But rather than give you my thoughts about Thanksgiving, I thought I would let you hear from the heart and mind of our 3-year-old daughter, Carson. I asked her if she wanted to tell everyone what she was thankful for and she said yes. So here you go!

WARNING: This is completely unedited. You have been warned.

1. Me

2. Daddy

3. Jadd

4. Mommy

5. Josh (Cassidy)

6. Daddy

7. Jadd

8. Mommy

(At this point, I had to re-explain what we're doing here. I got the sense her heart wasn't in it.)

9. God

10. Grandaddy

11. Jesus

12. Oranges

She then said, "Now let's talk about toys!"

13. Caterpillar

14. Tiger

15. Zebra

16. Lion

17. FeeFee (her blanket)

18. Tiger

19. Hippo

(I told her we'll go ahead and lump all of the animals together)

20. Olivia (friend from school)

21. Annie (another friend from school)

22. Mateo (yes, another friend from school)

(you can see where this is headed)

23. boys (that answer just made my heart sink)

24. Neal

25. our house that we live in

26. our stairs

27. The refrigerator

(she then began to look around the room to find other things)

28. stockings

29. Christmas tree

30. our old house

She then said, "One more thing, daddy!"

31. baby Avery (who is due in 3 weeks)

I thought we had a pretty good list, so I decided to ask her what Thanksgiving is.

"Thanksgiving is, um, doing some turkey stuff. Because we are going to Josh and LaLa's house."

Who were the first people to celebrate Thanksgiving?

"Jesus."

(she has already learned that the answer to any semi-serious question is "Jesus".)

"What's a pilgrim?"

(whispering in my ear) "They are on the Mayflower."

"What do you eat on Thanksgiving?"

"Turkey! And pumpkin bread, and sweet potatoes, and rolls. I want daddy to hold me!"

Ok, so maybe this idea was better in my head. At any rate, have a Happy Thanksgiving from Carson and the rest of us!

Transformed

Last night, we concluded our Fusion series for the month of November called "Transformed". Throughout the series, we emphasized to students that God is not content with just making us good people who go to church, love our parents, only use Christian cuss words, and don't cheat on tests. His desire is to make us like Him! It is about complete transformation! Here are some of the highlights from the series:

• Our Creative team of students came up with some cool ideas to deck the room out and help enhance the series. We had some car parts from a local junkyard setup on stage, including a red hood that looked the part of Optimus Prime. This is the first series where we had student involvement in the planning/creative process and they did awesome. Definitely looking forward to the New Year and getting their feedback on some incredible series we have planned!

• The first week, I spoke about the blind man from John 9 that Jesus healed. The 3 points we made based off this passage were: (1) Only God can transform us; (2) When God transforms us others take notice; and (3) Our transformation deepens our love for God.

• In week 2, I spoke briefly from John 4 and the woman at the well. We then made 2 points to the students: (1) Our transformation begins where we are; and (2) God uses our transformation to transform others. We then had one of our leaders share her incredible story. She grew up in a verbally and physically abusive home, made significant mistakes as a teenager, and was at the end of her rope. But God grabbed hold of her heart and changed her. She then encouraged students by telling them God can change anyone! Powerful stuff!

• Sr Pastor Rick White spoke week 3 as we wrapped up the series and did an awesome job, taking the life of the Apostle Paul to challenge the students not to focus on self-righteousness. Paul had a lot to be proud of and could rest on that and feel that he had arrived. But he considered everything as loss compared to knowing Jesus and experiencing the work He was doing in Paul's life. Rick told the students that we can't transform our own life or pretend that we're good enough. Jesus says, "Blessed are the poor in spirit..."

• We also got Rick involved in a karaoke game. We wisely didn't tell him that until he showed up that night. He had to put on headphones and hum 80s songs into the mic. Students had to guess what song he was humming. He was a good sport, although his humming was a little pitchy at times.

• Each week, we made a fun video where one person is transformed into someone else. In week 1, one of our students (Zac) was transformed into a leader (Dan). (Check it out here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kK1wpOFBp4). In week 2, another student (Beau) was transformed into me, curly hair and all. And in week 3, I was transformed into our Senior Pastor Rick White (Check it out here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trlh-8aAPzE). Anytime you can get Zac to wear chick pants, Beau in an afro wig, and myself with my hair straightened, you can't go wrong. Or maybe you can.

• We also had a video testimonial of one of our students talking about the change God is making in his life. He talked about how he used to just go through the motions in his walk with Christ. But over the last few months, God has been working in his life and he sees a huge difference.

• The band did an incredible job throughout the series, rocking songs that talked about the incredible change God does in us. They also did a really cool acoustic version of Switchfoot's "Dare You to Move".

• Our leaders had the chance to counsel/pray with several students throughout the series as God spoke to them! It is special to see God open students' eyes to the reality that He wants to make them like HIM! That is a transformation we all need!

The Best Way to Live

Are there things that you've learned in life that you wish you had known earlier because it would've changed everything? For example, it would've been nice to know a few years ago that the housing market would go in the crapper in 2008-2009 and our home values would drop. Had we known that, maybe some different decisions would've been made for many of us.

Or if I knew the path ahead of time that God would lead me on, maybe I wouldn't have spent so much time dragging my feet and questioning what He was doing. (of course, I may have just avoided the path altogether)

Maybe you wish you had known to avoid that bad relationship, or to study harder for a huge exam, or to stay away from that party where things went very wrong. The decisions we make (both good and bad) are often the best teacher and help us later in life. But if we had only known what the right decision was early on...

Recently, I read a verse that reminded me of something incredible I learned later in life. I wish I had known this awesome truth when I was younger. The verse is from 2 Corinthians 3:8-9:

Shouldn't we expect far greater glory under the new way,

now that the Holy Spirit is giving life? If the old way,

which brings condemnation, was glorious, how much more

glorious is the new way, which makes us right with God!

In this passage, Paul is comparing the Old Covenant and the New Covenant. The Old Covenant was rules-based, and required us being perfect in order to obtain salvation and holiness. This was the Old Testament way of living that said if you want to be like God, you have to obey every law. Mess up on any of them, even the smallest one, and it was over. If the Old Covenant was going to work, it was up to us to be holy. Needless to say, this was impossible for everybody. All it proved was that we were failures.

The New Covenant was different. It was grace-based, and gave us something we didn't deserve. The New Covenant depended on Jesus for salvation. Jesus fulfilled the requirements of the law because he never sinned, so he could stand in the gap for us. Now, when God looks at us He doesn't see our sin, He sees the holiness of Jesus!

Sadly, many of us as Christians stop there. I stopped here too for much of my life. We're thankful for the cross because it means we're forgiven, and we're no longer going to hell if we trust Jesus as Savior. But we fail to realize that there is so much more! It's more than just getting a "Get Out of Hell" card. There is something incredible that happens in us!

Here it is...

The New Covenant also says that the Holy Spirit lives inside of us. There is a change that happens in us that involves the very power of God! Living a holy life is still important, but it was no longer up to us to do it! The Holy Spirit gives us the power to live differently! It's not just about salvation (as incredible as that is); it's about living a God-filled life!

A few years ago, I read a book that profoundly impacted me. It is "Experiencing Christ Within" by Dwight Edwards. In this book, Edwards uses Scripture to point out 4 major things that God gives us when we become a Christian:

1. New Purity - Our sins are COMPLETELY washed away by the blood of Jesus! We are no longer who we used to be - a sinner.

2. New Identity - Our identity (who we are, what defines us) now is found in Jesus, not ourselves. Not only are we no longer who we used to be, we are now something we've never been before! We take on the identity of God!

3. New Disposition (Motivations) - We now desire to live for God. We want to walk with Him, know Him more, and live the way He wants us to live. We don't have to force it.

4. New Power - We now have the power of Almighty God in us! This is huge! Not only do we have the desire to obey Him, but we also have the power to accomplish it.

Understanding this has changed everything in my life! I now begin to understand the unbelievable revolution that takes place within my own heart. And when I understand how my heart has changed, God then begins to change the way I live!

Do you understand the impact that is made when you give your life to Jesus? It's way more than being saved from hell. It is the opportunity for a supernatural, power-filled, God-controlled life to be lived in you. That, is the best way to live!

Don't You Care?

Last night after our Access small group, I had a conversation with a student who talked about some friends of his who were going through some tough financial times as a family. He also mentioned his own family's issues and there was such concern in his voice as he said, "I've got to do something about it." He was grasping at straws because in his heart he had no clue what action to take.

This morning I was reading in Mark 4 where Jesus calms the storm. It says this:

"As evening came, Jesus said to his disciples, 'Let's cross to the other side of the lake.' So they took Jesus in the boat and started out, leaving the crowds behind. But soon a fierce storm came up. High waves were breaking into the boat, and it began to fill with water.

Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up shouting, 'Teacher, don't you care that we're going to drown?'"

-Mark 4:35-38 (NLT)

At this point, the disciples had seen Jesus do some amazing things. He had healed people o' diseases, helped crippled people walk, cast out demons, etc. And the disciples witnessed all of it. And yet, like us, they were quick to forget because they were in the midst of a storm that was going to rock them like a hurricane. And they went to Jesus and said, "Don't you care that we're going to drown?"

I bet the disciples tried just about everything on their own to fix the situation. They let their fishermen instincts kick in and analyzed all the options. They messed with the sail and mast. They probably even started throwing things overboard to lighten the load. But when a storm is bearing down, what could they possibly do on their own? So they finally went to Jesus and said, "Hello! How about some help here?"

Do you think Jesus knew there was a storm going on? Of course he did! No one sleeps through a fierce storm in a small fishing boat! I am a deep sleeper and nothing short of a dump truck driving into the side of our house is going to wake me. But I guarantee that if I was sleeping on a boat that was about to be flipped upside down by waves, I wouldn't sleep long. So Jesus was fully aware of what was going on.

So then did Jesus just not care? Was he not concerned about the safety of his disciples? Was he ready to let them all drown?

I believe Jesus was fully ready to step in, calm the storm, and save the day. He was just waiting on the disciples to come to him for help. He wasn't playing some mean trick on them. He just wanted them to understand that only he had the power to do something about the situation. Either they look to Jesus for help and trust in His power, or the boat gets flipped and they all drown. Those were the only 2 options!

The same is true of us today. We face the storm and crazy life situations head on and freak out.

• My mom/dad just lost their job and we're broke!
• I just found out my little brother has a rare blood disease!
• My parents are getting a divorce!
• I am getting ready to go to college and have no clue what I'm about to do!
• *Enter your specific situation here*

We see the possibility of us drowning and we immediately wonder where the heck Jesus is. Does He care? Is He just sleeping in the back of the boat while we're about to be destroyed?

But when we go to Him as our source of hope, strength, and protection, He comes through. And He asks us, "Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?" (verse 40)

What Jesus wants from the beginning is not for us to try to handle things on our own; not freak out and get fearful; not get angry and wonder why God allowed this to happen. Instead, Jesus wants us to come to Him! To go to the back of the boat immediately and say, "Hey Jesus, there's a storm going on here and I'm looking to You in faith to help me out."

I really believe that at the heart of God He is a rescuer! He has to be in order to do something as drastic as sending Jesus to die for us and rescue us! He loves to come to the aid of His people and save the day! And God is waiting for us to come to Him in faith and believe that He does care and will bring us through! Not because the storms we face aren't a big deal, but because we belong to a powerful God!